Listicle

The Client: Curious Fox

Have you ever felt like you were speaking a different language with your sexual partner(s)? Like ships passing in the night, do you and your partner(s)’ desires miss each other, unseen and unheard? The Erotic Blueprints™ may be the key to help us open the door to connection and pleasure.

Understanding our Blueprint can empower us identify our needs and the needs of others, create our unique maps to pleasure, and navigate through compatibility issues with sexual partners.

In the Curious Fox Podcast episode 104, Effy and Jacqueline speak with certified sex and relationship coach Jessie Fresh about the different ways that we are wired for pleasure; including turn-ons, turn-offs, needs, and toys that align with our unique Erotic Blueprint.

She helps us understand what are the 5 Erotic Blueprints™ and how can we lean into them to create more pleasurable, fulfilling, and exciting sexual experiences.

THE 5 BLUEPRINTS

Energetic desire space, anticipation, and teasing. They are aware of subtleties and intuitive lovers who can orgasm without touch, connect deeply, and have multiple orgasms a bit easier than others. They may require a sense of safety to allow them to maintain arousal and often become easily distracted which causes them to lose arousal quickly. 

• Turn-ons: Teasing touch, eye contact, matching breath (which can communicate safety), and presence (staying aware with them physically, mentally, and emotionally). Building erotic tension is their jam and it is something to explore when self-pleasuring if this is your Blueprint. 

• Toys: Feathers for soft teasing touch, essential oils can help affect the mood and energy to get them out of their heads, gemstone toys are great for those that believe in the energy of crystals, and belly dancing silk fans can create a visually appealing experience to distract them from their thoughts while the sensation of the soft fabric running over body parts creates buildup.

• Shadows: They are very sensitive and can become easily overwhelmed, feel so much that they begin to carry emotional baggage from others, are hyper-vigilant and continuous touch can sometimes start to become painful, it’s important to set boundaries and hold them because they may start to disassociate in moments of discomfort, and can be snobby about what kind of sex is “better”. 

Sensual leans on having their five senses engaged (sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch). They can have full sense orgasms, may not even need genital touch to orgasm, and are able to have prolonged waves of pleasure once they are deep into their body and senses which can lead to full-body orgasms.

• Turn-ons: Different forms of touch (caressing, massaging, scratching, etc.), beautiful settings (ambiance, lighting, scents, even something as simple as making the bed), music can help them step away from their thoughts and fully immerse themselves into the moment, relaxation before arousal, and positive reminders.

• Toys: Eye masks to help heighten all of the other senses and fake pearls can excite feel and sound. Fuzzy/soft-feeling fabrics are an accessible tool to experiment with when self-pleasuring, appealing to the sense of touch.

• Shadows: They can struggle to get out of their heads which leads them to disconnect themselves from the moment, need to be relaxed and surrounded by beauty in order to be aroused otherwise they can easily focus on something else causing them to lose arousal and become agitated, have hyper-vigilant minds, can be picky and easily thrown off, and is often haunted by the elusive orgasm.

Sexual is after the pursuit of orgasm and sex is a route to relaxation or to meet a basic need. While Energetics need safety and Sensuals need beauty and relaxation, sexuals need certainty. They are aroused quickly and easily (genital touch may be all that they need).

• Turn-ons: Erotic visuals (such as seeing someone wrapped in a towel right after a shower) nudity, explicit dirty talk, penetration, and orgasms.

• Toys: Bluetooth toys that can be controlled by another and pretty much any toy that goes in, on, and around the erogenous zones.

• Shadows: They can get really agitated and fall into a “horny rage” leading them to miss the journey with their partners, a sense of shame in their desires and libido may arise, feel a sense of failure if there is no orgasm, they are genitally focused, and oftentimes go for hyper-focused porn type sex that reaches a goal and may not allow their partners to really enjoy the moment.

Kinky enjoys the "taboo”. Taboo is defined by you. Taboo is anything that is outside of your personal norm. They are endlessly creative and are great at turning inanimate objects into sex toys or creating interesting pleasurable experiences. They can have non-genital orgasms or mindgasms and they are easy to turn on.

• Turn-ons: Pushing of edges, overcoming obstacles by finding out how much intensity and pleasure they can play with, hitting psychological buttons with scenes including power play, and anything outside of their norm like BDSM, spanking, doggy style, or missionary. Personal rule-breaking fuels their fire.

• Toys: Sensation toys, such as paddles, chains for a heavy feeling or temperature play, etc., and bondage toys are a great way to make them surrender.

• Shadows: They can easily get stuck in a turn-on pattern and habit can become a rut, a deep shame can arise when getting stuck on the ‘why’ of the elements that bring them pleasure, often experience emotional or energetic drops after sexual experiences because they are tapping into so many different experiences, and edgier play without education can become dangerous, like rope or knife play, can cause emotional or physical harm to yourself or your partner.

Shapeshifter appreciate all of it. They want contrast, variety, and constant exploration. They make extraordinary lovers because they can be aware of all needs and desires and as Jessie says “they are the best person to show up at the orgy.” They have a huge capacity for pleasure and are erotically intelligent.

• Turn-ons: Variety, creativity, layering and combining different forms of touch/play, trying new things, and discovery.

• Toys: All of the toys can work for them. They want to keep the experience open and engaging.

• Shadows: They easily become people-pleasers because they enjoy all of the things and have a hard time deciding what they want at the moment, are easily bored if play starts to feel routine, arousal changes constantly which can be frustrating, and often feel like they are too much or too complex for their partners. Because they are shadow shapeshifters, they can carry all of the turn-offs from all of the Blueprints.

As with many things, our sexual Blueprint can shift based on what we’re going through physically, emotionally, hormonally, and energetically. It’s a constant exploration.